Cow herding 101

A couple of weeks ago, I decided to stay in bed while Hubster got up and ready for work. My mom and step-dad were in town and I figured I would sleep in, make Hubster breakfast and take it to his workplace. Yup, the plans that I make.

Hubster got up and I turned over in bed, snuggling back up under my blankets. As I closed my eyes, I herd a loud moooooo. I opened one eye to see if Hubster was playing a joke on me. No one there and nothing I could see. I got comfortable again and closed my eyes again. Moooo.

I raised my head this time and looked at Hubster's phone, surely he wasn't playing a trick on me with his phone. Besides, we don't own cows.

Nothing there, so back to bed I went. Mooooo, again. I got up, looked out my bedroom window and wouldn't you know it. A cow. In my flower bed. Mooing away. At 6:30 in the morning.

I then look past the cow right outside my bedroom window and see more cows down our front yard. Lots of them.

I go to Hubster and tell him in a panicky, yet calm voice, "There are cows all over our yard. There is a cow outside our bedroom window. What do we do?" I don't think Hubster believed me. I think he thought I was wacko. Until he heard the mooo.

My neighbors own cows. These cows try to be David Copperfield and usually get out of the pasture. I call her to ask her if the cows on my yard were hers. "How many are there?" she asked. "15 " I respond. "No, I don't have that many" she said.

So I call my other neighbor who owns the field in front of us. I got no answer. I'm standing outside in my robe, making sure these cows don't eat my bushes and few trees that we have, when my neighbor comes running outside. She said she came to see if they were hers. She took one look and yes, they were hers.

I go inside the house to get dressed to help her get 15 cows back into the pasture. Since I'm a city girl living in the country, I own lots of cow herding clothes. NOT!! Shorts, a t-shirt and tennis shoes is what I get on.

I saw my neighbor at the front of my land starting to get the cows back to her land. I ran to help her and she is making these noises to the cows. Clicking her tongue and hollering. Sounded like I was in a western movie. So I panicked. I didn't know any cowboy/cowgirl terms to round up cattle. Hee yaw is all I know. Along with 'move it', I got the cows to move some. At this time I should say that while I was getting dressed, my neighbor was able to send the cow that was by my bedroom window, back home. So we were down to 14 cows. Actually, 13 cows and 1 bull. Lovely.

We started running after the cattle, but they wanted to go a different way. Hubster was still here and was in his truck trying to help us. We chase the cattle up the field, then we chase them down the field. These cattle would not go in the gate that led to their pasture.

The cattle end up on the south of our land. Hubster is at one end, in his truck, and tells me to get on the opposite end. I slowly walked over there because there is no doubt that I am scared of cows. Especially 13 cows and 1 bull all staring me down. Oh, and did I forget to mention that when I rapidly got dressed in my cow herding clothes of shorts, t-shirt and tennis shoes that I hastily put on a reddish pink shirt? Nothing like being stared down by a bull while wearing a reddish pink shirt.

Can you say rut row?

So Hubster was yelling at me to get in front of the cattle. I started walking, but I was praying y'all. Praying that being run down to death by cattle is not the way I die. Praying that the bull that is looking right at me, at 5 ft away, doesn't mistake me for a barrel or something. "Move some more" Hubster said. I inched over slowly. Right foot, then left foot until Hubster yells some again "More" Hmmm, easy for him to say, he was in the truck. "You come out here and let me get in the truck" I said. No answer then. I was wishing at that moment that I was like a cow whisperer or something. Then I could talk to these animals and tell them that they were making me workout and I wasn't wanting to. That they were making me get scrapes on my legs from the tall grass we were running in. But most importantly, I wanted to tell them that they WOKE ME UP when I was able to sleep in.

We somehow managed to get the cattle to move again. But this time they went all the way to the back of my land. Only 12 cows and 1 bull because one cow decided to go through the gate that led to the pasture. My neighbor decided to go get her 4 wheeler to go get the cattle. She drove back there, but it's rocky terrain. She ended up falling off her 4 wheeler. I told her to leave the cattle back there. They weren't in my way and they weren't eating my little trees.

My mom and I went for a walk. We were up, so why not. She was actually laughing at me because she said I looked funny chasing the cattle. Thanks mom!!

When we were on our way back from our walk, I noticed that there were some cattle by our pond, but more cattle at our other neighbors house. They don't own cattle either. By this time, all the cattle, even the ones that had previously gone back home and the ones that were still in the pasture that didn't join in the great escape the first time, were out there.

I go to my neighbor, the cow owner, and tell her to drive me over there. We drove and she was herding the cattle with her car. She then stopped because there is no where else to go, I got down and tell her that I would chase the cattle one way, on foot, and she could drive the other way. As I am chasing the cattle, I hear a crash. She had backed into a tree. She drove to the edge of my land and we proceeded to follow the cattle through my land. I told her to drive home. I follow the cattle and they went to their land. The stinking gate was open. It looked like someone had actually opened the gate for them to go out.

We laughed about it after all was done. But it sure wasn't funny at the time. Stinking cows.

I tell you, always an adventure with me. Which I'm glad, because it makes life a lot funner.