Cow herding 101

A couple of weeks ago, I decided to stay in bed while Hubster got up and ready for work. My mom and step-dad were in town and I figured I would sleep in, make Hubster breakfast and take it to his workplace. Yup, the plans that I make.

Hubster got up and I turned over in bed, snuggling back up under my blankets. As I closed my eyes, I herd a loud moooooo. I opened one eye to see if Hubster was playing a joke on me. No one there and nothing I could see. I got comfortable again and closed my eyes again. Moooo.

I raised my head this time and looked at Hubster's phone, surely he wasn't playing a trick on me with his phone. Besides, we don't own cows.

Nothing there, so back to bed I went. Mooooo, again. I got up, looked out my bedroom window and wouldn't you know it. A cow. In my flower bed. Mooing away. At 6:30 in the morning.

I then look past the cow right outside my bedroom window and see more cows down our front yard. Lots of them.

I go to Hubster and tell him in a panicky, yet calm voice, "There are cows all over our yard. There is a cow outside our bedroom window. What do we do?" I don't think Hubster believed me. I think he thought I was wacko. Until he heard the mooo.

My neighbors own cows. These cows try to be David Copperfield and usually get out of the pasture. I call her to ask her if the cows on my yard were hers. "How many are there?" she asked. "15 " I respond. "No, I don't have that many" she said.

So I call my other neighbor who owns the field in front of us. I got no answer. I'm standing outside in my robe, making sure these cows don't eat my bushes and few trees that we have, when my neighbor comes running outside. She said she came to see if they were hers. She took one look and yes, they were hers.

I go inside the house to get dressed to help her get 15 cows back into the pasture. Since I'm a city girl living in the country, I own lots of cow herding clothes. NOT!! Shorts, a t-shirt and tennis shoes is what I get on.

I saw my neighbor at the front of my land starting to get the cows back to her land. I ran to help her and she is making these noises to the cows. Clicking her tongue and hollering. Sounded like I was in a western movie. So I panicked. I didn't know any cowboy/cowgirl terms to round up cattle. Hee yaw is all I know. Along with 'move it', I got the cows to move some. At this time I should say that while I was getting dressed, my neighbor was able to send the cow that was by my bedroom window, back home. So we were down to 14 cows. Actually, 13 cows and 1 bull. Lovely.

We started running after the cattle, but they wanted to go a different way. Hubster was still here and was in his truck trying to help us. We chase the cattle up the field, then we chase them down the field. These cattle would not go in the gate that led to their pasture.

The cattle end up on the south of our land. Hubster is at one end, in his truck, and tells me to get on the opposite end. I slowly walked over there because there is no doubt that I am scared of cows. Especially 13 cows and 1 bull all staring me down. Oh, and did I forget to mention that when I rapidly got dressed in my cow herding clothes of shorts, t-shirt and tennis shoes that I hastily put on a reddish pink shirt? Nothing like being stared down by a bull while wearing a reddish pink shirt.

Can you say rut row?

So Hubster was yelling at me to get in front of the cattle. I started walking, but I was praying y'all. Praying that being run down to death by cattle is not the way I die. Praying that the bull that is looking right at me, at 5 ft away, doesn't mistake me for a barrel or something. "Move some more" Hubster said. I inched over slowly. Right foot, then left foot until Hubster yells some again "More" Hmmm, easy for him to say, he was in the truck. "You come out here and let me get in the truck" I said. No answer then. I was wishing at that moment that I was like a cow whisperer or something. Then I could talk to these animals and tell them that they were making me workout and I wasn't wanting to. That they were making me get scrapes on my legs from the tall grass we were running in. But most importantly, I wanted to tell them that they WOKE ME UP when I was able to sleep in.

We somehow managed to get the cattle to move again. But this time they went all the way to the back of my land. Only 12 cows and 1 bull because one cow decided to go through the gate that led to the pasture. My neighbor decided to go get her 4 wheeler to go get the cattle. She drove back there, but it's rocky terrain. She ended up falling off her 4 wheeler. I told her to leave the cattle back there. They weren't in my way and they weren't eating my little trees.

My mom and I went for a walk. We were up, so why not. She was actually laughing at me because she said I looked funny chasing the cattle. Thanks mom!!

When we were on our way back from our walk, I noticed that there were some cattle by our pond, but more cattle at our other neighbors house. They don't own cattle either. By this time, all the cattle, even the ones that had previously gone back home and the ones that were still in the pasture that didn't join in the great escape the first time, were out there.

I go to my neighbor, the cow owner, and tell her to drive me over there. We drove and she was herding the cattle with her car. She then stopped because there is no where else to go, I got down and tell her that I would chase the cattle one way, on foot, and she could drive the other way. As I am chasing the cattle, I hear a crash. She had backed into a tree. She drove to the edge of my land and we proceeded to follow the cattle through my land. I told her to drive home. I follow the cattle and they went to their land. The stinking gate was open. It looked like someone had actually opened the gate for them to go out.

We laughed about it after all was done. But it sure wasn't funny at the time. Stinking cows.

I tell you, always an adventure with me. Which I'm glad, because it makes life a lot funner.

Me and My Mouth Before my Caffeine

The alarm beeps, or should I say, makes annoying sounds at 6:00 in the morning. I roll over and Hubster pushes the snooze button. This goes on for another 20 minutes. He finally gets out of bed. I lay in bed contemplating whether I should pretend I'm asleep or get my hiney up and make him breakfast.

Now, before you think I'm the wonderful wife. Let me tell you, I am no June Cleaver. I do not have a smile on my face while doing this so called wonderful thing for my husband. I make him breakfast because of his diabetes. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

I usually get up and quietly and alone proceed to make breakfast. Usually breakfast tacos of some sort. I'm alone in the kitchen, no one to talk to me, no one to distract me and I'm great with that. Simply because I need my caffeine in the mornings. Caffeine in the form of an ice cold coca-cola. Caffeine that is usually not ice cold at 6:30 in the morning because someone (me) forgot to put it in the fridge the night before. Caffeine that is stuck in the freezer getting super cold, super quick.

One day this past week, I was in a not so good mood. I let other people get to me especially at 6:30 in the morning. I was thinking about something that someone did and that got me riled up. I then took it out on Hubster. I didn't hold back. I told him what I thought about the situation.

I had forgotten that when I haven't had my caffeine, I am a not so nice person. I say things without thinking them through. I say things that are hurtful. I don't ask God to shut my mouth.

Hubster went on to work and I grabbed my can of coca-cola that I had stuck in the freezer and I went to sit down and have a talk with God. Just me, my coke and God.

It's funny how He never says, "I told you so" or "why did you do that" or "are you stupid or something?"

He shows us in a loving way how how we were wrong, and then He waits for us to acknowledge it ourselves.

Well, while I was spending time with Him, I realized what I had done and said and knew that I was wrong. And I am never wrong. Ha Ha Ha, that was a joke.

I did the right thing and called Hubster and apologized.

I have to remember that I can't control other people. I can't have that hang up in my life.

All I can say is that I'm glad I have a loving Heavenly Father who showers me with His Grace and Mercy on a daily basis. Even though I don't deserve it.

A field trip to the Dentist office?

Hubster has had a toothache for a week already. But you know, he won't listen to his wife. So as the pain got worse, he was seeking wisdom from his wife.

Of course, I'm not a very sympathetic wife when this happens. I try to be, it just doesn't happen.

My first response wanted to be, "I told you", but I knew that would accomplish nothing.

So I looked at him and for the hundreth time, or what seemed like it, said "call the dentist".

We have a friend who is a dental hygienist and she called him on Monday morning to tell him to go in at 8:15. Hubster calls me and says he forgot his insurance card and the checkbook, could I please take it to him.

The joy about Hom schooling is that you can switch your day around and it will still work out. A little more stressful, but still not a loss of a day.

"Yes, field trip" said the boys. They always look for opportunities to consider something a field trip and this was no exception. The thought never crossed my mind.

We arrive at the dentist office and we sit in the waiting room telling Bible stories to each other and I even try to throw some phonics in there. I can't totally waste this day.

Our friend sees us and tells us to go see Hubster. The boys get excited when they see the chair leaned back with their dad in it. Along with what looks like a big screen TV on the side of the chair showing blow up pictures of their dads teeth.

The look on the boys faces is one you'd see if they were looking in a Lego store. They thought this was the coolest thing.

The Dr. was explaining all about the x-ray. Talking out loud and the boys were taking it all in. He then leaned Hubster's chair all the way back to look in the mouth. Both boys were wanting to see as well.

When we were leaving, the boys told me that this was a great field trip. This was science mom. Hmmm, didn't think of that either. UB even said that he wanted to be a dentist when he grew up.

We did go to the library to pick out some reading books and then it was back home to start lunch.

The boys were still talking about the Dentist office field trip and UB even made a Lego dentist office, complete with a man leaning back in a chair. He broke it before I could take a picture.

I hear people complain that we 'homeschooling people' have it easy because in public schools if they miss so many days, they can be called in the the authorities, but we 'homeschooling people' can miss a day and no one will know.

What these people don't know is that we 'homeschooling people' always try to incorporate what we are doing to learning. We go later on in the day if we have to, just to finish our work. We even make up our days on a Saturday if we have to.

There are lots of challenges to homeschooling, but when you can make a trip to the dentist office to drop off an insurance card into a learning experience, then it's all worth it.

Happy Birthday Hubster!

Hubster's birthday was Saturday. We actually went out on another date. I'm starting to enjoy these dates with my husband. I'm not used to them. We would go out on dates, but it was maybe once every 6 months or so. So I'm really liking this. Anybody want to volunteer to watch my boys anytime?

On Friday, my friend had invited my boys to a sleepover at her house with her 4 boys. A house with 6 boys. Wow! But the boys all get along and they have a great time together. So the boys left sometime in the afternoon and stayed the night.

Hubster and I celebrated his birthday at dinner time on Friday night. I knew Hubster wanted to work on his car Saturday and figured we would eat in after picking up the boys.

This was UB's first sleepover and AB's second one. It was actually strange to sleep in a house with no kids. I was enjoying the quiet, but at the same time, I missed the noise. We stayed up late watching a movie, but being old fogies, we had to turn the movie off because our sleep was being interrupted. I woke up at 8 the next morning on my own. I didn't have anyone standing 3 inches from my faces, scaring me out of my wits as they said "mom, what's for breakfast?"

The boys had made their daddy a homemade card and each had attatched something from their room to give to daddy for his birthday. UB's gifts consisted of a hot wheels car that he said was a collector car. It had apparantly been involved in a road rage battle with another car because the scratches on it told a story. He also put a paper clip, a rubber band, a pen, a pencil, a candy and some lint.

AB had made a card and taped some candy on the inside as well as a keychain with a Jeff Gordon mini car on it.

Nothing like having homemade gifts made with love.

What do you do with your husband when he's sick?

Hubster has been sick. I'm not really sure what he's got, but we know he's sick.

I don't know what ya'll do when your husbands get sick, but my husband sleeps in the guest room when he's sick.

I know, I'm probably a bad wife and all, but my thinking is that I don't want to get sick.

Because we all know that when the mother ship gets sick, chaos happens. That and I know I won't rest because everyone wants to know when and what they are going to eat and where stuff is.

I don't normally get sick. I get the occasional no good feeling. The queasy upset stomach feeling, but nothing ever happens. I'm also a light sleeper. I wake up with every noise, then have a hard time falling back to sleep, then wake up cranky. And we all know that when mama is not happy, no one is happy.

So this mother ship is trying to stay away from the germ droids.

I was talking to a friend and she pretty much said I was weird for sending my husband to the guest room. I resemble that remark!!

I think he actually enjoys being in a room all alone without his wife wanting to 'talk' about what happened during the day.

In the meantime, I'll just watch TV in bed, all alone, eating oreos.

"What? I've got crumbs everywhere? Oh well, I'll just save them for a midnight snack!"

What kind of Harley Motorcycle should I be?

Hubster is a big fan of racing. Nascar, truck, motocross, you name it he likes it. Speed channel is on at our house all the time when racing season is here. Because we have to watch qualifying on Thursday's, Craftsman truck series race on Friday's, practice and Busch race on Saturday's and then the big one- the Nextel Cup ( I think it's Sprint cup now) race on Sunday's.

We have to rush home from church on Sunday's in order to watch it all. And when Hubster sits on his recliner watching the race on whatever day, we know to leave him alone, because he is one with the TV.

Hubster is building a drag racer. He is outside working on his car whenever he can. He can already taste the feel of the asphalt ( or red dirt here in Oklahoma) in his mouth.

So lately, he's been watching Pinks all out on Speed channel. It doesn't matter that we have lots and lots of channels, only Speed, and occasionally Hallmark Channel, are watched.
Now, if I want to talk to him about something, it has to be in code.

For example:
"Honey?" no response from him.
"Do you know what the boys did today?" still no response. I know he's alive, because I can see his stomach moving.
"The boys, Harley Davidson Sportster 1200 custom, climbed, Harley Davidson Sportster Cross Bones, the house, Harley Davidson Road King Classic, to get, Harley Davidson Dyna Wide Glide, the ball, Harley Davidson VRSCAW V-Rod, to bounce, Harley Davidson Heritage Softail Classic, it into, Harley Davidson Road Glide, the basketball goal, Harley Davidson Ultra Classic Electra Glide."

Hard work for me, but I definately get a response.

I guess I need to become a motorcycle or a fast car. HMMM, let me sit here and ponder this a while. What shall I be?

Is it time to ride my dirt bike? Is it time to ride my dirt bike?

When you homeschool, you spend hours and hours and hours and, well you get the picture, with your kids. They are with you ALL the time. You have to find time to yourself. Whatever time that is, you take it.

I lock myself in the bathroom for my quiet moments, but usually that ends up with the boys hanging outside the door waiting for me to come out. And as soon as I am out, they start talking non-stop again. Not that they stopped when I was locked in the bathroom, I just turn on the exhaust fan and pretend I'm alone on a remote island.

Reality hits as soon as I open the door. I learn to sometimes tune them out. Especially when they are fighting or are asking the million time question. I sometimes forget what they asked because most of the times it's something petty like, "mom, is it time to clean the toilets?". My boys are strange that way. They enjoy cleaning the toilets. I've come to realize that it's because it involves water, but hey, whatever works.

They fight over who will clean the guest bathroom. I usually have to break up a fight over that one. I know that I should appreciate them wanting to, no, begging to clean the toilets, but you just don't understand. When they clean the toilets, because it involves water and all kids enjoy water, there is usually a bigger mess to clean up. For me.

So that is why I tune them out when they ask if they can clean the toilets. Adventure Boy is the worst about asking. He will ask every 15 seconds. That goes for everything. I usually just turn on my invisible mute button on him and continue on what I'm doing.

Hubster doesn't know how to do that. So on Saturday when he told Adventure Boy that he could ride his dirt bike after lunch, AB took it seriously the minute lunch was over.

"Dad, you said after lunch I could ride my bike, can we do it now?" was the question asked 50 times before Hubster said, "I realize it's after lunch, but it is going to be after lunch until lunch time tomorrow, so go play right now".

Hubster is building a drag racer. He is having a blast taking everything out of a car and making it into a really fast car. More to post on another day.

He doesn't know how to 'tune out' Adventure Boy's repetitive questions yet. He's not as good as me. Hee Hee.

After the millionth time (that's probably how you'd feel if you've got a 6 yr old asking the same question all afternoon) of asking Hubster the question right into his ear as he was working on the car, Hubster got distracted. He accidentally poked a hole in his gas tank from being startled when AB spoke.

Now, in Hubster's defense, he works long hours and travels a lot, so when he has some time to work on his hobby, he tries to do it. He also spends time with the boys and they had already ridden their dirt bikes BEFORE lunch for quite a while.

Needless to say, Hubster was not happy.

But the day was not lost. After lunch had finally arrived before dinner , AB and UB were able to ride their dirt bikes before it got too dark.

Meanwhile, Hubster has started to look in his catalogs for a new fuel cell.

Yes, I'm a biker momma without the leather

Hubster and I went on a bike ride on Saturday. I'm not talking bike like thin tires, 18 speed, pedal 'till your legs feel like they are going to fall off bike. No, I'm talking about this bike.

Now, I enjoy taking rides with my husband. I don't think my husband enjoys taking rides with me in enclosed vehicles because then all I do is yack. I'm with the kids all day and want some adult conversation when he's around. He's with adults that act like kids and doesn't want much conversation at home. He does listen to me, but I'm sure that all he hears is 'blah blah blah blah blah'.

So we went on what biker's call 'an awesome riding day'. You know, the sun is out, it's in the 60's and there is hardly any wind out. The kind of weather that biker's look forward to. You see them riding with just a sweatshirt and feeling the wind on their face. Not many bugs out there because it's still a little cold for them.

But not me. I had on a t-shirt with a sweatshirt over, then a heavy coat zipped up all the way to the top. Add some gloves and a full face helmet and I'm good to go. I do have to say that even though my upper body was nice and warm, my lower body was a little cold. I couldn't even feel my toes after a while. That's what I get for wearing tennis shoes with air vents. Silly me.

While on the back of this bike, their is no way to 'talk' to Hubster. So I just start with my warped thoughts. These are my true confessions.

Man, I am so warm, that sun feels good. I wonder how long it will be before my hiney starts hurting. Good grief, I have an itch on my nose. I can open the shield, but my gloves make it a little hard to scratch. Hmmm, I guess I'll just have to wait. Maybe if I twitch my nose the itch will go away. No such luck. OK, just think about something else.

Wow, I never noticed how cows just like to hang out in groups. I wonder if they ever get tired of sniffing each other's utters and butt. Look, there is a goat on the top of a small barn. I wonder if he's thinking like Leo on the Titanic, "I'm king of the world".

I'm kind've tired now, but sleeping on the back of this bike is not an option. I'll just be road kill if I nod off. So I'll just sit here and count cows. Nah, there's too many of those. I'll just count how many other bikers are out. Nah, that hurts my neck trying to turn. I'll just sit here and sing "O Happy Day". But wait, I don't know that song. Oh well, let me just sit here and take in all of God's beauty.

I guess It's OK to talk to myself. I sure hope myself doesn't answer. I sure wish this itch on my nose would go away.

Where are all the men's wallets?

The boys had a play date yesterday. It's amazing how much nothing one can do in three hours.
I dropped the boys off then went to run some errands. Errands in which I could quickly go in and out and not have to break up fights. So wonderful!

Hubster and I even got to spend some 'quality' time together. It started when he called me to take him a diet coke with lime. He's into this new kick of diet coke with lime. So as it's half price drinks at Sonic from 2-4, I pushed the button on the Sonic order board at exactly 4pm. Yahoo!

I specifically ordered a diet coke with lime for Hubster and a lemon-berry slush for me. While sitting with Hubster at his office (this started our quality time together) he said that while his drink did have the diet in the coke, it was lacking the lime. 'Them people' (that's what I call incompetent people) had forgotten the lime. Hey, at least 'them people' let me have the drinks at half price.

Hubster and I then went to grab something to eat. When we finished eating, Hubster said he wanted to go look for a wallet. His is old, torn and tattered. It doesn't have any money in it, but it's got all his electrical cards for several states. And for that reason he wants a cheapo, but nice wallet.

Our adventure started at a store that had lots of wallets, but they were not his style. They were the wallets that have skulls, and and and junk all over the front of the nylon, attatched to a dog chain that is at least 3" thick and 2 ft long. I'm glad Hubster said no to those.

We went to another store that did have wallets, but were much higher priced than what he was willing to pay. At the third store we went to, they too had wallets but since they were locked in a glass case, Hubster said that they were probably not in his price range. So on to the next store. No, no mens wallets there. None at the next one either.

So much just for a wallet. But it was fun. We even held hands while we were looking for said wallet. AAAWWWW.

We did find one, but upon closer inspection, we realized it wasn't one Hubster would use. It was a 70's looking wallet, with a man and woman (I think that's what it looked like) pin up style on some plastic background. Hubster said he could live with his tattered and torn wallet a little longer.

He ended up giving up. Not only were we out of store options, we were out of time.

In the meantime, I told him he could use AB's camo wallet or UB's spiderman one.

The little old ladies and Hubster

Saturday, while at the game, there was an incident with an older lady. This Upwards program is at a church and they promote teamwork, thinking of others, etc.

Well, Hubster and I were sitting in a group of chairs next to the court where AB was supposed to play. There were some chairs in front of us where we thought we might sit. Before AB's game started, we saw some chairs 'available' on the front row to the side of us. We looked at each other and said, let's go sit up there.

We get up and are already at the chairs when we hear a lady say in a not so quiet voice "they can't sit there. I had those people that were sitting there, save us those seats. You need to move them out of the way. Those are our seats. They can't sit there. This whole row is ours."
(This lady is not 20 or 30 or 40 or even 50 something)

I realized during the screaming fit she was making that she was talking about us. I look up from the chair, and there is another lady about my age behind me with a very apologetic look on her face. She looks at me and says "I'm so sorry. Go ahead and sit there. I don't mind."

This response got another screaming fit from the first lady. The second lady was persistent. "please, sit down there, it's OK."

By this time, I realize I'm not going to put her in the middle of her screaming partners fit. I get my stuff and tell Hubster to let's go sit down where we were originally.

These chairs where we are sitting happen to be right behind screaming lady. Her mom is trying to calm her down and tell her stuff. Screaming lady says in a loud voice "I am not embarrassed to say anything. Did you hear me tell them?" Yes, lady, I'm sure the people on the bleachers located on the opposite end of the gym heard you.

I knew Hubster was mad, but we didn't say anything. Although Hubster did say that he hoped the basketball hit her since she was sitting underneath the goal.

It just amazes me that we should try to teach by example and here she was acting like a lunatic. I'm sure her grandson was going "That's my grandma. Go grandma, kick some bootie."

We got out of there with no fights. Just smile and nod people.

Then yesterday, Hubster dropped me off at the grocery store while he went to go get gas. I went in and got some cokes, because if you don't know me, the most important thing to know about me is that I NEEEEEEED me a cold coke in the morning. I was out at home and didn't want to expose my grouchiness to my family.

After I get what I need, I walk out and don't see Hubster. I wait and wait and wait some more. I finally call him and he says he's in the parking lot.

When I get in, he proceeds to tell me a story about an older lady honking at him to get out of the way while he is waiting for me outside the doors. When he does move, she follows him (in her car) and glares at him because she thinks he's going to take her parking spot.

This incident along with the incident the day before leaves Hubster with a goal of wanting to find out why little old ladies are mean.

I'm not really sure, but I'm thinking that little old ladies have a problem with Hubster.

What do you think?