How to get a good work out at Wal-Mart

I went to the store for some watersoftener salt. I arrive there and notice that even though they have bags of mulch, bags of manure and bags of potting soil, they don't have bags of salt.

I go in through the Garden Center thinking that I'll make the cross crountry journey around the store to get what I need, then check out through the Garden Center, pay for the salt and have some one load them in my car. I just don't know why my thinking and my doing never communicate.

I also had a request from the boys to pick up some pizza's. Because we eat healthy and cheap, I buy the Tony's 2 for $5 pizza's. They actually are pretty yummy.

As I head on over to the grocery side, I notice the salt that I was looking for, laying nice and neat on a pallet. I decide to get 4 bags now so that I won't forget to get them later. I really don't know what I was thinking then because those bags weigh 40lbs each.

I put them under my basket and my work out started. Next time you want a complete workout, load them baby's under your basket and walk around the store. Guaranteed to make you at least get that heart pumping a little faster.

I'm sure I'm looking a little strange to people as I take off and almost lose control of the basket several times. I don't know why I bite my lip and wrinkle my forehead when I'm trying to push this heavy load. I looked wonderful with my tongue hanging out the side of my mouth as I grunted to keep the basket with an extra 160lbs under control.

Not to worry because by the time I made the journey around the store, I wasn't grunting anymore. Only had that toungue out. Big improvement I thought.

I was rewarded by finding a dollar on the floor. As I bend to pick it up, I look around to see if anyone is around. Then I look to see if maybe there is a camera or something following me around. I put the dollar in my pocket, call a friend to see what she would do, then proceed to the checkout when she informs me she would keep it.

So if you happen to see "Smile you are on candid camera" or a reality show similar to it, and they have a segment on "what would you do if you found a dollar?" You might see me on there.
You can't miss me. Remember, I'm the doofus with the 160lbs of salt under her basket, tongue hanging out the side of her mouth as she bites it and pushing with all her might while scrunching her forehead.

Wal-Mart + low prices = ipod

Why does it seem that Wal-Mart is the topic for many blogs? I'm serious, if you google walmart, I'm sure you'd find lots of stories about them.

I have another one for you. I don't like to go to Wal-Mart, but yesterday I had to get some things that I could only find at WM and not Homeland.

Adventure Boy knows how to read, but prefers not to. When we got to Wal-Mart, he proclaimed loudly "mom, look, it say low prices. That means we can get ALL our stuff here because the low prices will save us money"

Underwear Boy just said "yeah, and it also says no smoking".

Teenster let Adventure Boy borrow his game boy. While at WM, he was playing this game boy then said, "well, since I don't have an ipod, I'll just listen to this game boy as an ipod." So he walked around Wal-Mart with this game boy on his shoulder next to his ear. He was even doing that little walk. You know, the one where your knees bend and take small hoppy steps because you are listening to "music" all the while bobbing your head.

AB saw the ipod shuffles and this is how the conversation went:

AB: mom, it's "only" $78, you can get it for me
ME: $78 is a lot of money. I don't have $78.
AB: just put it on your credit card
ME: I don't have a credit card
AB: yes you do, put it on that thing you use
ME: that's a debit card that takes it out of your checking account
AB: but mom, remember what the sign says"
ME: no, I've lost some brain cells since then
AB: It says low prices. So this is a low price. Can we get it and use the credit card?

Do you reckon I use my debit card in front of them way too much?

Queen for a moment

"Children are a gift from God"

Psalm 127:3

Most of the times I have to remember this verse to be nice to my kids when they do something they are not supposed to. Or when they break things that aren't theirs. But yesterday I saw it for what it was.

The boys were playing very well with each other. I thought some aliens had replaced them with these nice, caring and sharing boys, but they were actually the real boys that I gave birth to. They were playing walk the dog. Noah has a stuffed dog named Juneo who is a small beanie dog. Isaac has a stuffed boxer dog that is of medium size. They had "collars" made of string and whatever they could make into strings and these "collars" were tied to the dogs and they were "walking" or dragging these dogs around the house. Of course, it also had to do with what they were dressed up as and what they were using as dog houses, but at least they were using their imagination and being nice during the process. Anyway, I just wanted to bottle up their innocence at that time.

I always thank God for my children, but I guess I don't do it enough. I know I don't do it for the right reasons but I know that God knows my true feelings. So whether your kids do the right thing all the time or mess up every now and then, just remember that they are God's gift to us.
***************************************************

I like to go grocery shopping by myself. Not that I don't love my children, but they pick at each other and use the merchandise at the store as a weapon. Doesn't matter if it's a can of green beans or a bag of rice, it's a weapon. I also don't want Noah to use the bags of chips as a trampoline. So I'd rather go alone.

The only time I can go alone is in the wee hours of the morning or late at night. I prefer the wee hours of the morning, that way I can treat myself to a bacon egg and cheese biscuit from Braum's afterwards. Yum!!!!

So yesterday morning I went to my favorite place in the world. Wally world. It's the only place in town open at 6am. It wasn't as bad as I had anticipated. Of course, I'm just excited that I'm alone. I know, that's sad when you can be excited to go grocery shopping, but you've got to take it when you can get it. I got all my shopping done quickly and even had a little time to look at some of the Halloween stuff they were marking down.

But the best part was when I went down the frozen food aisles. If you ever want to feel "special", go down the frozen food aisles. Start at the end that has cases on either side of you, but make sure there is no one else down that aisle because that will just ruin the whole effect. Anyway, walk slow and pretend you are the queen and the food in the cases are the people cheering you on. As you walk ever so slowly (because you are the queen and you don't want to fall and make a fool of yourself) the lights in the cases turn on as you walk in front of them. Keep doing that up and down the aisle and wave from side to side as you walk or prance, or even dance. "Special" you will feel, but the clerks will think you need some serious help.

And if you are really lucky, you won't run into anyone that knows you and will once and for all truly believe that you are psycho.

You broke it!

"Give, and it will be given to you."
Luke 6:38

When we give so much of ourselves, sometimes we feel like if we can't give anymore. But God can continue giving. He can give more to us so that we in turn can give more to others.
*************************************************
Well, yesterday was a strange day. The boys broke their space shuttle, rocket, etc. from yesterday's post. (aka the guitar stand) They were fighting over who got to sit in front, and it just broke. Of course when it broke, they both blamed each other. "you did it, no YOU did it" and on and on. Once they figured out who broke it the most. (their language) It was on to fight about who was going to get the bigger piece. Finally, I took away both pieces and off they went to find something else to break.

While we were doing school I asked Isaac to bring me the little stereo that was on the floor in my room. He ended up dragging that thing from my room to the school room by the chord. When I plugged it in, it wouldn't work. Why? Because I think he thought it was a dog and was pulling it by the collar. He ended up pulling the chord out from the inside of the stereo.

I haven't checked out there rooms to see if they broke anything else. I'm sure there is something else, I will just wait for it to tell me "here I am, I'm broken, you see me?"

I had send them outside and last I heard, they were trying to make a fire out of rocks and sticks. Maybe the dog put the fire out if they succeeded.

We went to my favorite place in the whole world (she says sarcastically) Wal-Mart.
I mean, that may be the only hang out place here, but I dislike shopping there . They have all those registers and only 2 or 3 are open on each side. Which means you have to wait 30 minutes to buy just a couple of items.

So we had one thing and got in line in one of the 3 speedy checkouts that had 6 people. We ended up behind a lady that was sitting in one of those electric wheelchairs. Her basket was full. She seemed to have more than 20 items and I was complaining to myself. You know, we've all done it. "I can't believe she has more than 20 items and she's in the speedy lane" "Why do I always get stuck behind people that don't bother to be respectful" "Why do I even come shopping at this place?" I was going on and on. When suddenly she turns around and looks at me and says "why don't you go ahead, it will take me longer to set these groceries on the register, than it will for you to pay"

Ouch!!! I felt really bad. I had tried to practice what I had put as my devotion yesterday. You know, the fruit of the spirit. But I hadn't practiced it at the place where I needed it the most.

I've got a date

"He will not let your foot slip-

he who watches over you will not slumber"

Psalm 121:3

When you are going through some tough times remember that God does not sleep. He will take care of you, he will protect you and watch over you, even when you think you're going through it alone.
****************************************************
Loren and I went out on a date last night. With no family around here, it makes it very difficult to just get up and go do stuff without kids. We had a sitter and we went out. Since dates alone with my husband are few, I don't care where we go. I didn't even mind if we went thru a fast food place, picked up some food, rented a movie and sat in the backseat of the car to watch the movie on the car TVs. At least we would be alone and not have to fight over the remote.

We went to dinner then went to go hang out at the only happening place here in town. You see, when you live in a small town, with limited restaurants and limited "hang outs" you have to make do with what you've got. Where else can you see different people of all walks of life and be able to not worry about having broccoli in your teeth because someone has you beat by walking around with toilet paper on their shoe? Wal-Mart!!! The only happening place at night in small town Oklahoma.

When I worked there, I saw some pretty interesting people, but I can observe them at a different level now that I'm just a customer. Strange things happen at that place. Things that make you go hmmmm! And with that, I leave it in your imagination.