Monday, February 25, 2008

How to get a good work out at Wal-Mart

I went to the store for some watersoftener salt. I arrive there and notice that even though they have bags of mulch, bags of manure and bags of potting soil, they don't have bags of salt.

I go in through the Garden Center thinking that I'll make the cross crountry journey around the store to get what I need, then check out through the Garden Center, pay for the salt and have some one load them in my car. I just don't know why my thinking and my doing never communicate.

I also had a request from the boys to pick up some pizza's. Because we eat healthy and cheap, I buy the Tony's 2 for $5 pizza's. They actually are pretty yummy.

As I head on over to the grocery side, I notice the salt that I was looking for, laying nice and neat on a pallet. I decide to get 4 bags now so that I won't forget to get them later. I really don't know what I was thinking then because those bags weigh 40lbs each.

I put them under my basket and my work out started. Next time you want a complete workout, load them baby's under your basket and walk around the store. Guaranteed to make you at least get that heart pumping a little faster.

I'm sure I'm looking a little strange to people as I take off and almost lose control of the basket several times. I don't know why I bite my lip and wrinkle my forehead when I'm trying to push this heavy load. I looked wonderful with my tongue hanging out the side of my mouth as I grunted to keep the basket with an extra 160lbs under control.

Not to worry because by the time I made the journey around the store, I wasn't grunting anymore. Only had that toungue out. Big improvement I thought.

I was rewarded by finding a dollar on the floor. As I bend to pick it up, I look around to see if anyone is around. Then I look to see if maybe there is a camera or something following me around. I put the dollar in my pocket, call a friend to see what she would do, then proceed to the checkout when she informs me she would keep it.

So if you happen to see "Smile you are on candid camera" or a reality show similar to it, and they have a segment on "what would you do if you found a dollar?" You might see me on there.
You can't miss me. Remember, I'm the doofus with the 160lbs of salt under her basket, tongue hanging out the side of her mouth as she bites it and pushing with all her might while scrunching her forehead.

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