Wednesday, January 2, 2008

No more UB

Today will be the last day that we mention Underwear Boy. It's time to get him a new name. I'm not really sure what the new name should be. Any suggestions?

I was utterly disgusted when I researched my site and found that even though my site was being "googled", they found it by googling something to do with underwear and boys and other stuff that made me sick.

I just can't believe that there are sickos out there lurking everywhere. I put these pictures of my sweet little boy in innocence and some freakos are looking for I don't know what. I'm not even really sure what these people did on my site, I'm hoping they only read it, but I'm not taking chances of having perverts 'Google' for those things and end up on my site.

So UB will only be referred to as UB until I find him a new name.

On another subject, I haven't really been feeling great. Major PMS. Maybe that's what made me write this post. Every month is different. This month is a bad one. I feel bad because my family doesn't understand. There are times when I am just sensitive to what everyone says, or am bothered by the way people look at me. There are times when I don't really care what they think.

Depression is a major part of this 'thing' that happens. I just don't want to get out of bed and do anything, I just want to sit down somewhere in a corner and cry. I don't want to talk to anyone , don't want anyone to touch me or mess with me. I just want to be left alone.

It's easy for people who don't experience this to say "Just get over it", "snap out of it" ,"you're being a witch","you're not a very nice person". But when you feel like I described, you have a hard time relating to anything.

I'm not suicidal or anything, so don't worry. I'm actually good. It's just every once in a while that the depression hits. I think it's mainly when I'm feeling overwhelmed. Like having to get up to make breakfast, then cleaning the breakfast dishes, then starting all over to make lunch and then dinner. Add putting laundry in the washer then the dryer then putting it away. Next add teaching an ADHD child and you've got yourself a fine recipe for depression. Especially when you yourself don't think you are living to any one's expectations during this fine time.

I have to say that I've controlled it a lot better, but it's still hard. I do pray constantly during these times and although prayer does help, I still fell the way I do. Eventually in several days I know it will all disappear as if nothing ever happened to me.

So I ask ya'll to be patient me, pray for me during these times, but mostly just love me (from a distance) if that makes any sense at all. And if you see me cry, just let me be, it's my party and I'll cry if I want to.

I am not telling ya'll all this so that you could feel sorry for me, but to make you aware of the fact that not everyone is the same.

So all this to say that yesterday was a bad day for me. I also get these headaches that are not really headaches, but that's what I compare them to. There is pressure around my eyes, forehead and my neck. I know that if I lay down to sleep for 15 minutes or so, it will go away, but there is no rest for me at this house.

Hubster's cousin called and invited us over for roast, black eyed peas, and all the other fixin's. I really didn't want to go. I just wanted to stay home away from people. But I knew it was important to Hubster. We went and as we were going, I was asking God to just guide me through the evening moment by moment.

I stayed quiet because when I open my mouth, my tongue forms these words that usually should be followed with my foot in my mouth. So I just smiled and nodded. (I learned that from my friend Kari) so thank you Kari!

We usually have get togethers at my house. I love having them at my house. It just depends on who comes over. Because certain people help me in the kitchen and certain people don't. I'm usually the one to cook all day (alone) and then clean up (alone). So last night I sat in the living room with the other adults and talked with other the adults. Then when it was time to eat, I sat down and waited at the table. It was nice to have someone pour me some tea, or pick my plate up after I finished. I thought I would feel bad for not helping, but no way, I actually felt good about it. No guilty feelings at all. Woo hoo!!!

So next time you encounter a woman experiencing PMS, just remember, her symptoms might be very different than yours, so be patient with her. And if you feel like I do, just smile and nod!!!!!!


berrblonde said...

and here I thought I was the only one...:) Laura u are an amazing woman..and its ok not to be perfect all the time..just take it day by day and deep breaths..u can do it! and its scary what creepy people are out there!..thanks for making me laugh most days with ur blog..i enjoy reading it..

Kari said...

Your welcome Laura! I'm just sitting in the hospital room waiting and waiting for hours on end, so I've read a lot on your blog now! I just posted something new on mine. Somebody commented but I don't know who it is. Do you know who LEB is? Okay, love ya,